Loss...

I should let you know first thing that this will be a fairly self-serving blog. A blog without many anecdotes but more for putting thoughts on the record...

My heart is breaking for people that I don't even know. Through a friend of mine on Facebook (actually a college friend of one of my best high school friends...follow?) I learned of a little girl, Cora, who just passed away this weekend from neuroblastoma. She was 11 months old, and they had no idea she was sick until just a few weeks before she passed. I read through her parents' entire blog, which started when Cora was born and ended with her ending her short battle with cancer, and just sat there and cried over this tremendous grief that these parents were going through.

I've been thinking about these parents so much for the past couple of days, today especially (the memorial service was this afternoon), wondering why God would allow something like this to happen and how they have managed to maintain such great faith through it all. After Cora was admitted to the hospital, they blogged nearly daily with both prayer requests and praises for the day...in the midst of such suffering they still managed to see God moving in their lives. They have clung to scripture, often posting meaningful verses, and have talked of the songs that have meant the most to them ("Mighty to Save" was one that was mentioned).

Scott and I are at the point where we're about ready to start a family, and this kind of stuff scares the crap out of me. How do you handle things like this? How do you keep going? I know the "right" thing to say (God is always faithful, God will see you through anything, God is the ultimate Comforter and Healer) and I know that all of those things are TRUE (undeniably so), but I'm still amazed at the faithfulness and steadfastness of this family. Even when you find yourself in a hole of despair, God is God, and He is always God, even when things seem terribly unjust.

*sigh* Thanks for letting me vent. I just needed to get some things out. And if you could remember the McClenahans in your prayers, I'm sure they would appreciate it. They've been cooped up in a hospital for awhile, so I'm sure now that the memorial service is over the feeling of loss may get worse before it gets better. But they are trusting in the LORD, and He will be faithful to them always.

Now go hug your kids -- if you have them...I hugged M & A a little tighter today... :)

Just because I think it's funny...

I'm sure this made God giggle a bit...

So, I co-teach (with A) the K-5th grade class at our church. Yesterday, I realized that I had gotten done with the lesson way too early, so I decided to play a nice game of Hangman with the kids using some descriptive words of God that we had talked about during the lesson. Teams were boys v. girls, it was the boys' turn, and the board looked like this:

__ O R __ I __ I N G

I asked the team spokesperson for a letter, and all of the sudden M (L & A's son) appeared to have an epiphany.

"Do you have a guess?" I asked hopefully.

"Boring?" M asked innocently.

A and I lost it. Luckily, the word was "forgiving," so I'm sure that M was forgiven about thinking "boring" was a good way to describe God. Actually, I'm pretty certain that God may have been laughing as hard as we were...

Thoughts from the brink of exhaustion...

First of all, I should apologize in advance if anything in this blog doesn't make sense. After a very late night last night I went into work extra-early this morning, and I have just shooed my friend Apryl's kids off to bed as I am watching them during her band rehearsal for church. So, I've basically been watching kids for 13 hours (with a one hour break in between) on very little sleep -- and yes, before anyone thinks it, I realize that's what the next eighteen years of my life look like once we have kids. Yeah, yeah, I know. So I'm spoiled with my current childless existence (which, when you think about it, isn't childless in the least bit). I will share a total "Mom Moment" I had tonight, though...Apryl had told her boys that they needed to pick up their rooms while she was gone or a certain rear body part may be hurting tomorrow. Well, Jadon (8 yo) came downstairs showing me a bunch of random things and then was ready to play some video games. I asked him if he had cleaned up his room, and he said no and went upstairs. He came downstairs literally 30 seconds later and told me he was all done -- with the most guilty look, I might add. Not being a pushover (well...at least when it comes to kids), I asked him again if he was sure, and he said yes. So, very nicely, I said "Well, let me go up and make sure it looks okay." That hopeful, guilty look quickly faded into a typical Jadon scowl and he stomped upstairs saying, "Okay, fine." Then I made him tell me that he actually hadn't done anything before sending him up to finish. Definitely a practice moment for about ten years in the future...wait, my hubby will probably read this...I mean twenty years in the future...twenty-five? Thirty?

Well, the reason for our late night last night was totally justified...we went to see David Crowder in Columbia, SC. Kind of an armpit of a town, but David Crowder is worth it. We were running a little (AKA a lot) late, missed the first opening band and only caught the last few songs of Phil Wickham, who is a current fave new artist. (Interesting side note: I learned last night that Phil Wickham is not, in fact, British. I don't know why I assumed he was, but he's not. He's from SoCal. Pretty much the opposite of being British. I don't know if he sounded British (is that racist?) or if (being the huge Jane Austen fan that I am) I was thinking of George Wickham from Pride and Prejudice? Whatever. He's not.) If you haven't heard his stuff, check it out. Even the music snobs in my life (Jamie and the Hubby) approve, so you know it has merit.

David Crowder is awesome in concert. There's nothing else to say (except, of course, what I'm about to say)...he's hilarious and personable and talented and worshipful and every guy on stage seems to care about the fact that people in the crowd paid money to hear them. They played a lot off of their new CD, Remedy, which is pretty much amazing, but they played a lot off of their other CDs, too. It was nice to just be able to sit and worship and not worry about if the hubby was stressed out or if my kids were going crazy for the teacher filling in for me in my class or if enough people had showed up or if people were engaging in worship or ANYTHING. I got to sit. And worship. And not think about any logistics. And just be with God. It's been awhile...too long, in fact. And it made me realize that I'm going to need to make more of an effort because David Crowder will not, unfortunately, be within driving distance on a regular basis. And I need to take more responsibility in pursuing times for worship, whether musical or otherwise. I've slacked, and last night opened my eyes to that fact.

With that scattered post, I'm off to watch Grey's Anatomy. Don't judge me.